February 24, 2004
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Somewhere en route to Port Vila in the New Hebrides, for my last meal I serve dinner the way I've always dreamed.
Anybody caught buttering their bread before breaking it, I promise to shoot them.
Anybody who drinks their beverage with food still in their mouth will also be shot.
Anybody caught spooning toward themself will be shot.
Anybody caught without a napkin in their lap--
Anybody caught using their fingers to move their food--
Anybody who begins eating before everybody is served--
Anybody who blows on food to cool it--
Anybody who talks with food in their mouth--
Anybody who drinks white wine holding their glass by the bowl or drinks red wine holding their glass by the stem--
You will each get a bullet in the head.
We are 30,000 feet above the earth, going 455 miles per hour. We're at a pinnacle of human achievement, and we are going to eat this meal as civilized human beings.Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor
Comments (22)
Love it.
Love.
It.
That book is awesome.
oh, yeah, and you're not bad either.
Lovely.
I like the authority.
Dead sexy.
i agree...great book...
ha ha..quality.
Palahniuk rocks. I'm still reeling from "Guts". Must get this book - haven't read it yet.
WTF?
you cannot bread a veal cutlet and do a good job with only one hand
there's no sense in eating if you can't do it in style.
Starboard - go get it immediately - it's marvelous.
Nice work - and definitely content to agree with.
in soviet russia, the horse rides you.
I love Chuck Palahniuk. Choke is my favorite book.
ha!
he forgot:
people who cut things with their fork
slurpers
those weirdos who mix their food (i.e. corn and potatoes - eeewwww)
and
weirdos who won't let their food touch
loved that one, but I must admit that my favorite lines were "In case there's a sniper outside, I open the blinds and stand my gross obese body in the window. Please, anybody with a rifle and a scope. Shoot me right here. Right in my big fat heart. Right in my little wiener." but hey, that's just me.
Good thing I don't drink wine. I'd have gotten shot for not knowing how to hold the glass properly. ;P
I'm reading that right now...lol you must be further into it than I.....I'm still learning how to eat lobster and endive.
^v^
damn it, everybody got to post before me. I really enjoyed that one.
"WTF?" by silvermist_ashke is priceless..haha..my sentiments exactly..
Hey your site looks great, and that is a amazing book. Not my fav of his but a good one atleast. Have you read house of leaves ?
-matthew
(random props from all mac all the time.)
Bloody Brilliant.
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