August 25, 2003
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Greetings with a hug are always the warmest ones. Neither of us could figure out how long it had been since the last time we'd talked. We tried using various life land marks to put it in perspective (when we worked together, when I was with K, her time at college and her wedding), but the best we could come up with was "a few years". It seems we both have a slightly distorted sense of time. Everything is "3 or 4 years ago" to me.
Goading those memories to the surface was an odd experience. Some seem like a dream on the verge of being remembered. Others are crystal clear snap shots taken yesterday. Others are clips of grainy home movies.
After a few minutes of verbal floundering for where to start, we found our cadence. Walking and talking turned to driving and talking turned to walking and talking. We exchanged the happenings since we'd last seen each other, pointed out the various weird things we spotted on Worth Avenue, I took pictures.
We talked about when we'd gone to the airport to just have something to do, watched Conan O' Brien at my house, the one time we kissed, some of the people we'd both known, the film she's in (it's being submitted to Cannes. [I know a movie star! I wanted to ask for her autograph]).
Later, she said "Have you ever wondered about the things that could have been different? The decisions we could have made?"
"Yeah. We're where we're supposed to be though."
It took me several tries and her help to get that statement out. Fucking homonyms.
A goodbye hug and I was on my way home.
Comments (31)
decisions decisions... i made stupid decision mistakes in relationships before. realized i should have been frank a long time later, too late. tho i'm glad now coz i found out how should i deal with it -- relationships.
kinda feel like leavin' a quote here, hehe, you may not need it but here goes:
dont cry coz it's over, smile coz it happened.
propz for you,
mana
Awww.
(Is the photo a self portrait that you took with your new camera?? Huh?)
funny, for some odd reason i was just thinking about worth avenue. i thought to myself, what for?
Sometimes it's really nice to reconnect with old friends because you remember all the things you loved about one another; sometimes it only shows you how far apart you've grown. Sounds like you guys had the first kind though. And you should totally have asked for her autograph, she may be famous one day!
All those memories and no "i'm so glad we're friends again" sex?
Just kidding. Glad you had fun
I wonder, do you know you're where you're supposed to be because you "know" or because you have faith that's the way that it is?
In that photo up there? They're enjoying their visit.
Homonyms are fun.
I'm glad you liked the picture....now I have to put it all together in a little while....
I love the new layout....
^v^
For some reason, the sentiment reminded me of Willa Cather's "My Antonia." These reunions are so fragile and dangerous, aren't they. I wonder if you found that you're where you are supposed to be because there was no spark, or because you were cautious, or simply because you are a realist.
K? How Kafkaesque.
Wow...that was...I...wow...
- MTL
i was just reading the xanga entries that i missed and one, to answer the guy who emailed you, we read your xanga because youre so damn loveable and two, to reply to your um lousy life so far, WAIT, YOU HAVE SEEDS?!?! and now to comment on this entry i just wanted to say life is life hmmmm and you know when you spell live backward its evil so life is pretty much REALLY MEAN. yes ohyes.
quite interesting- love your main pic chose-
for some reason- lol - well later
heh ... you said "homo"(nym).
it's so strange. . .the way people penetrate your life, then leave, then re-enter at certain stages, and then you are forced to sit down and analyze the twists and turns of times that are arguably due to "choice" against the eerie moments that seem like fate.
oh yes, and hugs are always good. human contact. we lack much of that in this day and age.
lovely, dear. you are righteous, brother.
charm-me-asleep has a point. but ya know what? after you find that happy medium...it's like nothing ever changed huh? and that's the weird bit. suddenly you're (insert age here) years old again.
'what could have been's are always such a pain.
*smiles*
"...like a dream on the verge of being remembered."
Wonderful.
Sail on... sail on!!!
holeeh girl you got some mad skills!
Fucking A!!!!!!!! You're back! I didnt even know til today when I saw a comment over at Muddie's....then again, I've had my head up my arse for the past few months with the whole wedding thing. Either way...YAY YOU'RE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! o/
oh shat didn't see that my bad
wow...to answer your q...why do ppl read your xanga? i just came across your site today, n...i don't know! it's just very interesting/intriguing, it just makes you..."want to read it," its like i nod as i read along....=) does what i said so far actually make sense...?!
hiiiiii~
luvv yur xenqurr... :[
Think yoo can edit mine fO meehs? :/
Also... AWESOME XEnGURr
Where'd you eat? Was it down some familiar sidewalk, tucked away from the hum and drum of the crowd? Or you are superhuman and have no hunger in company? Did you feed your guest? Shove a hotdog down her throat? Many a wonderful things can happen over a table of beautiful food.
Ello.... juss floatin.. but love your log..heehe
My bf is leaving me for college.
I'm going to cry a river. :'(
I just lose myself in your writing. You are, if it can be said, simply gifted. I hope to absorb your ability to say so much using so few words. Crisp, evocative, honest - it keeps me coming back.
you two look very gorgeous together.
Welcome to Xanga. Feel free to check out this site immediately. I am John Xanga, (TheXangaTeam) We made a new site that is for Premium users and Non- Premium users. Have fun.
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