August 22, 2003

  • This week has chewed me up and spit out the seeds. I woke up this morning feeling the weight of everything bearing me down, wearing me down, grinding me into dust.
    I've been avoiding those who call, those who want to go out and have fun. Unfortunately, I don't have the time for much fun any more. For the most part, this hasn't bothered me, but it caught up to me today. I wanted nothing more than to just give in, but I know it's not really an option.
    I take my training very seriously. It's a duty, a responsibility, and it's been burned into my bones. I can't not do it. I've tried - I've said to myself, I'm taking the day off and tried to just relax and lie in bed. Didn't work. I berated myself the entire time, like a drill sergeant. Mentally yelling at myself for being lazy, for being weak, for being a pussy who couldn't eat the bitter1. Soon enough I was up and dressed, locked in my workout room and steamrolling my way through close to 120 minutes.
    Soon enough, I'll be in that room again.

    1. Eat the bitter, meaning to do that which is unpleasant, or to do that which one does not wish to do. A saying often associated with kung fu training.

Comments (22)

  • why are you training so hard? what has you punishing yourself?

  • Maybe a class in relaxation is in order?  Or a nice massage?  Don't be so hard on yourself; you're no good to yourself or to anyone else if you overdo and overexert all the time.  Sometimes it's only in the stillness that you can find yourself - so slow down and stop looking so hard and it'll all fall into place.

  • having your own psyche forcing you to workout sounds tough.  mine's given up.  have you tried yoga or tai chi?  either would be a nice change from your usual strenuous workout, and yet, you'd still be using your time efficiently.  and if either of the more peaceful alternatives don't interest you, my massages would, indeed, do you wonders

  • you know, the first time i read your blog, i saw "eat the butter" not "eat the bitter." hmm, maybe that's a sign. go eat some solid fat!

    no seriously, take an hour a day and spend it doing nothing. my hour is spent making collages. some other people read. i don't know what would relax you, but mess around until you find it. you'll feel hella better.

  • Oooh, I'm jealous.  I will try and start training next week after almost 2 months off for recuperation from an injury.

  • errrr...ur weird. but thats why i read u! lol

  • You should let someone help take that weight off, you stubborn bastard.

  • Dude. You got seeds?

  • there are negative effects to working out too much ya know...

  • I thinketh you need to book yourself into Workaholics (or should that be workoutaholics?) Anonymous. it's NO GOOD. I'm agreeing with chyli.

  • hope u feel better

  • ramdom site-searching.... visit me at my site!!

  • mad props at ur hard work. wish i had the same self sayin not to give up or give in. . meebber someday soon

  • It's always so easy to advise someone else. I was going to tell you to try and be more compassionate, to take a little time off. Then I thought of my own patters. I know how difficult it is. Still, I think that the same motivation that drives you to work when you least want to, will keep you from completely 'letting go.' Taking time to enjoy and feed the mind is just as important as aiming for a goal.

  • Dude...nothing I say will ease your life stress.  It is the Floridian humidity...it's got your brain all off kilter.  Once you get far enough away...I'd say a trip to Vegas where it's nice & dry...you should be able to recoup in 'bout a week.  Now...if you can avoid going broke &/or getting married while there...that'll be something.

  • YEAH!!! You are definitely my role model!!!

    - MTL

  • Ahh, I was just about to say ... Well then, where are the pictures?  Now I see the new profile pic.  This means there will be photos with *every* post, right?!?

  • I like your new design.

  • oh... another great re-do of your site I see...

  • i should have known you'd show up.

  • That sux dude, i know how u feel. Like if u skip one work out then its all down the drain but maybe instead go out with friends and do stuff so @ least you'll feel like you gained at least something by not working out.

  • i'm giving you props for not giving in ...it takes will and stregnth , and those are rare quailties ....i admire those qualities ... good for you  ... even when it isnt easy.

Comments are closed.

Post a Comment