April 20, 2003

  • well. about a week and a half until i find myself on an airplane going to see this woman. i've been alternating between anticipation, anxiety, hesitancy and the urge to jump with both feet and grab on with both hands.
    anticipation and anxiety because i want to get there now, get the waiting over with. to be able to talk with her in person and be able to reach over and touch her, or her me. to just be together.
    hesitancy because, well, what if it doesn't work? what if it just doesn't happen? this is something we'd both deny vociferously if asked, but i have to be honest and admit there's a little worm of worry there. little bastid. as much as we talk on the phone and with instant messaging (totaling around 4-5 hours per night), there's a lot to be said about being physically near someone. i mean, 70% of all communication is nonverbal.
    what if something in my body language or lack there of (i can be exceptionally stoic) completely puts her off?
    jumping in with both feet and grabbing on with both hands because, damn! this seems like such a good thing. we get along amazingly well. we relate intellectually and emotionally. we think along the same non-linear leaps and bounds of weirdo intuition. we appreciate the humor in the absurd, the dry, the sarcastic and the smart assed.
    sans segue, a few shifts in the paradigm of my thinking have been taking place the last few weeks. the most appropriate one to mention here is that i am not and never will be a monkey.
    the second most appropriate one is the concept of taking chances. what life is worth living if you let yourself be bound hand and foot by your fears, doubts and cautions?
    in my changed frame of mind, none. without chances, without changes, without acting on the effects of the catalysts that enter your life (or acting on the effects of the catalyst each of us are), we are stagnant pools filling with silt and life-choking mosses.
    jump with both feet. grab with both hands. hang on and see where it goes.

    "Damn the torpedoes, Full speed ahead!"
    Admiral David Glasgow Farragut

Comments (41)

  • It sounds like you've already met her.  The rest is just technicality.  Have fun on your trip.

  • There is a quote from the movie Amelie:
    "Luck is like the Tour de France. You wait, and it flashes past you. You have to catch it while you can."

  • jump in full throttle. that's how you'll know you're alive. regardless of the outcome.

  • you aren't a monkey?

    [enjoy the excitement...]

  •      Hope everything pans out well for you. From what I've read...& from what idiom has already said you've already met her.

  • hrm...  if the attraction is already there...  i'm with astrotica, i say go for it. 

  • I'm glad that you're going and I hope that it's everthing that you want it to be.  A friend of mine is hopefully coming for my graduation.  And I'm as mixed up as you are.  I can't wait.

  • you are not a monkey? this is good! hope your trip rules.

  • Fate is not so cruel, I have to believe. It will be better in person than on the phone/internet.  I know this. Don't worry. <3

  • wait just a cotton pickin' minute.....

    you're *NOT* a monkey?

    oh- you do understand that my 3 comments spaz attack on the last post was a computer glitch right?

    that's my story and I'm stickin' to it....

  • nothing ventured... nothing gained.

    besides, from my estimation-- you are DUE!

    Go for it.

  • i'm glad they spotlighted you. elegant words for such vicious human emotional doubt.

    i commented on "her" site too...sounds like it's time for you to face her. full speed.

    just put your heart behind everything you do and you'll be fine.

    -7

  • I wish that somebody was that excited and nervous to meet me. :( Just don't worry about it and just let it happen.

  • just a random person... really really nice site

    i like it ;)

  • Preach on brotha'.  *smile*

    I'm almost as excited for the two of you as I am for myself and him.  You're due for happiness....she'll be everything you ever wanted, I know it.

    *hugs*

  • Awww. Sherri's so nice.

  • I like monkeys

    I wish you the most wonderful experience to you both that you can't even imagine how great its going to be. love and bunnies.

  • sounds exciting! good luck!

  • Mere formalities Have a wonderful trip!

  • No pretense no ego? This is THE BOOOOYA! speaking.

    Aw... but I like pretense and ego.

    -BOOOOYA!

  • Mate..... you and I have a LOT in common right now....

    For those who wait..... time drags its feet...

    ever

    Set

  • well, whatever happens, good luck. oh yeah, and when you land and get off the plane... if you are still nervous, run around in a big circle and go "WEEEHOOOOOAAHHHHOOOEEEEEE!!!" ...or just do it, because i said so.

  • hi i just felt bored and some how clicked on ur journal and started reading. cuz everyone is doing homework and i'm sooo bored. sounds cute! good luck and i think it'll work out. i think this is tooo cute. have fun!

  • Good luck!

  • WSUP JUSS PASSIN ;] NICE XANGERRZ..AIITE WELL PROPS ND TAKE CAREZ. HOLLA BAQZ IF YA FEELZ. PEACE<3

  • jump in with both feet, and hang on tight...it will work, that's no concern :) i've been in the same place, everytime you think about going to see her it feels as though your heart and lungs are trapped in a vice, but you can't help but just grin even though you're clenching your fists because you're so nervous....it will be great, no worries at all! i'm going to see the guy i met online, and in real life 2 years ago, in about 2 1/2 weeks...still seems surreal :)

  • Hey everything will be alright!! I hope you have fun

  • well, you can't very well jump with just one foot, now can you?   no seriously, I just want to tell you this with complete honesty.  when you speak (okay, TYPE) to someone for hours at a time, you can learn so much about them.  in some ways, you learn things about them they don't always have a chance to tell people who know them IRL.  that can be established even if you've never met before.  even without meeting and body language,  you know enough to realize the two of you have a connection that's special and rare and not something that happens every day.  i have met someone from online before, and he was exactly everything I imagined he would be from talking to him for hours0 at a time over several months.  there was nothing false about him.  I wish you all the best...and I'm glad you're going after what you want.  you already know you can never gain anything if you don't risk something.  it's a scary experience you're going into...but it's also wonderful.

  • kool planet yer got here saturn!!! let the monkey have it!!! *wicked grin*
    mrkool

  • you two have been taking me back 2 years in time, and i've dusted off a lot of memories...best of luck on your journey.  i'm sure it will be more than you could ever dream of...i know it...cuz i've been there

  • Interesting name....into Latin......?...send some eprops my way...~Stephanie

  • good luck to you two cuties....I hope things work out for the both of you...by the sounds...they will.

    ^v^

  • *smirks* How cute!!

    I'm going to steal the monkey and run away with it and rape it. Then I'm going to give it back to you. Muahaha

    Thought I'd try to be creative. Increase the chances of my post sticking out more amongst the mass

    Did it work? ohhhhhhhhhhh probably not

    I'll fill it up with random shit to make it look big anyhow

    la

    la

    la

    la

    PICK ME!!! haha. I wonder if it worked?

    I'll leave you alone now.

    Ta-ta -Kimmi

  • hey .. just randomly found your page. i really like it. :) anyway, i'm sure your trip is going to be amazing! i hope you two both enjoy being in each other's company. :) have fun!

  • the energy of it all!!  i'm excited for you; i wish i was in the same situation...to be honest, though, i don't think i'd have enough guts (unless it is gust) to go for it.  you do & i commend you.  i commend her.  maybe you'll invite me to your wedding?

    hehe.

    i realize too clearly the newness of our age.  it's just too wonderful.

    best wishes always :)

    S.

  • don't skip a beat.

    then you only wonder what 'might have'

    live.

     

  • lucky girl  ::stews with jealousy for half-second:: 

    i have faith in love... can't help it really, i got married to my high-school-hunny when i was 18... he was 46... just kidding... haaaa, i crack myself up.  we're coming up on 11 years.  love is some good stuff.

  • hehe i've done the xanga relationship before..i wanted to fly to new jersey (from here in chicago) but then..i found someone here who made me want to stay here forever...just..the girl from new jersey was there to show me that there is hope ;0)

  • I agree with JKjoker...this story is taking me back to some great memories of my own.  Everything will be GREAT.  When you already know someone that well and you already adore that person, even some little things that are weird in person make no difference.  Have a fabulous trip :)

  • I believe strongly in love beyond physical bounds. I was once in a relationship like this. It didn't work out because he was a jerk to any woman he was with both near and far, not because of the distance between us.

     

    Never let something as quantitative as distance keep you from the qualitative....love. I'll tell you something, if both of you have been honest with each other all along, then when you meet, it will be pure fireworks beyond anything you could imagine.

     

    Best of luck!

  • You described those emotions beautifully, I can feel your intense anxiety at the meeting.  I believe the awkwardness will be there at the beginning, but it will fade fast, and you two will be swimming in each other.  what needs concern you is after... but of course, that shouldn't be worried over at all yet.  enjoy the moment, my dear, even this moment, this anticipation, the giddy anticipation.... mmm.

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