March 21, 2003

  • i realized, just a minute ago. my life has been too focused on others. i've forgotten what the meaning of "fun" was to me. that's so fucked up. wow.
    for the last 2 years, i haven't been living. i've been mourning. what the fuck?
    i've never dealt with my father dying.
    or losing k .
    or losing me.
    i don't know what i am.

Comments (19)

  • sounds like a new beginning? spring is certainly in the air.

  • sounds like you have your work cut out for you.

  • you inspire a real, honest rawness in me with this one. you are a beautiful person, rich. relearn to enjoy yourself.

  • :*  you are beautiful!

    I hurt for you...

  • red_dirt_girl said it already

  • These things have a way of sneaking up and then suddenly kicking you in the face, don't they? Good luck to you!

  • i can relate to how you feel...i'm having similar issues right now too.  you're a nice guy...don't forget to say *no* sometimes and just do what you want and just be, its important...good luck

  • Stay strong...

  • big hugs to you....and much luck, realizing what you need to realize is sometimes the first step...

  • In my situation, I just can't find the words at the moment, in yours, maybe writing it will help. *sigh* I am sad. And sad for you.

  • I know exactly how you feel, rb. it's something you have to face to free yourself from the void. much luv bud.

    ~e.

  • Sometimes, it's easier to deal with losing so much when the emotion is less raw.

    You're an amazing person, Rich......you'll discover that soon enough *hugs*

  • can i give you a hug? well, more like..im going to give you a hug ::girl hugs boy:: now, go eat a pint of your favorite flavor of ice cream, watch your favorite movie, and then make your most favorite person in the world go bowling with you. at least, thats what i would do to have fun for myself.

  • what brought on this surge of impowerment?

  • Here's to discovery then. May you uncover life.

  • Doood!  If you lost the 'K' key, then how in the hell did you spell, "Gym K ata?"  Seriously though, good to hear you're going to return to the fun of all that is you.  If you need advice on pleasuring yourself, erm...no, that doesn't sound quite right.  Crap.

    So, does this mean that your primary focus of attention will no longer be on me?  How can this be?  I mean, what did I do?  I never told you to play with yourself.  I'm at a loss.  I'm going to go to the corner and pout until you are once again my man-bitch.

    Oh, that didn't sound too good either.  Crap.

  • this makes me sad. And it makes me want to help you.

  • you make it sound as if you could just stumble over oneself at a rummage sale.

    try exploring yourself.  and don't feel guilty for doing it.....

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