| "you are what you love - not what loves you. i decided that a long time ago." nicholas cage, adaptation |
Month: November 2002
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i felt my body being twisted, weight shifting to my right foot.
WHAM.
my leg had been kicked out from under me.
my head rattled from the impact, yet i stood up smiling.
"do you feel how i did that?"
"yes..." i replied. now it's my turn i thought.
the punch comes in, aimed directly at my sternum.
step and redirect
grab and counter hit
step through, twisting
sweep the leg
WHAM.
he hits the mat.
"very good. again."
WHAM.
"again."
WHAM.
repeat for an hour.
i'd forgotten what it's like to be thrown by someone good. it's not just being thrown.
the first movements contain a hit of some kind, not apparent, that shocks your body for a split second, unbalancing you. your world suddenly turns upside down and there's the impact of your body hitting the mat. it rattles your neck, your head, and if the person throwing you did it right, you stand up with a dull pain in your groin.
my ego went down a notch last nite. i've been training by myself for so long, i figured i had things down. not so.
"the purpose of shuai chiao is the literally whip into, through and past the other person. the moment they are touched, they are being thrown."
i'll be back again on monday.
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each thing i do i rush through so i can do
something else. in such a way do the days pass -
a blend of stock car racing and the never
ending building of a gothic cathedral.
through the windows of my speeding car, i see
all that i love falling away: books unread,
jokes untold, landscapes unvisited...
pursuit, stephen dobyns. -
6.54am
the gentle knocking of the blinds woke me up this morning. everything is saturated in early morning shades of grays and blues, and the side of my face is swollen and tender from the infection that never quite leaves. listening to the cool air move the trees outside and the almost ethereal sound of the windchimes. inside, my blinds knock against the windows - it reminds me of being on a boat, as if the entire world is swaying gently to lull me into peace. further inside, it's me that's being moved.
slowly and quietly, i made coffee, my computer mute and logging on. there's barely enough light to see the keyboard now, and the single candle i have lit doesn't help. touch typing isn't my strong point, but that's ok - i wanted to share this with you. because i love you and because i know that you'd understand more than anyone else.
so this is what it must be like to be the only person left on earth. -
are you sure you want to IM me?
snippets of an IM conversation
Breakcharmer127: god help me i'm bloating
Breakcharmer127: i'm having a *chunky* day
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Breakcharmer127: [does the truffle shuffle]
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Breakcharmer127: yah we're the lone rangers
Breakcharmer127: how can you be the lone rangers if there's 3 of you?
Breakcharmer127: you can't be lone if there's more than one
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Breakcharmer127: i'm starting the hemp liberation front
Breakcharmer127: WE DEMAND FREE OREOS
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Breakcharmer127: the whole gen x 420 high times pot culture makes me want to puke though
Breakcharmer127: tie dyed pot leaf shirts send me into jaw snapping mouth foaming frenzies of angst
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Breakcharmer127: i think of them more as lemmings running off the cliff in a hive-minded kamikazian stampede
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Breakcharmer127: oh these people have the mentality of retarded ants
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Breakcharmer127: ok tutti frutti, i'm heading out to go make some kung fu -
XangAstrology Bulletin Board!
come one, come all. -
rising signs
in light of VM's past couple entries and some email correspondence between her and i and astrotica and i, here's some tasty info.
encyclopedia of astrology by nicholas devore; p.295-296
PHYSIQUES
sun: powerful, well formed body, with large bones; large face and forehead, clear complexion; hair, light but inclined to baldness; commanding eyes.
moon: of middle stature, inclined to heaviness; round face, pale complexion; large soft eyes; short but thick hands and feet; usually small boned.
mercury: slender body and face; full forehead, long nose, thin lips, slender expressive hands, dark hair, thin beard, poor complexion, penetrating eyes.
venus: short but graceful body; inclined to stoutness in advancing years; round face, dark hair, large and wandering eyes; soft voice and vivacious manner.
mars: strong, stocky body, but not overly tall, military deportment; black or red hair; often curly or wiry; sharp, quick eyes; often very ruddy complexion; when angry face is livid.
jupiter: large, well formed body, inclined to become portly in advancing years, wide chest; high forehead; kindly and widely spaced eyes; dark wavy hair; paternal attitude.
saturn: slender, angular body, with large bones; back bends with increasing years; stern features; small beady eyes; dark curly hair; indifferent complexion.
uranus: slender body, pleasing appearance; irregular but prepossessing features; usually large light eyes, brilliant and keen; some types ascetic in appearance, giving the impression of being effeminate.
neptune: finely organized, slender body; long head, sharp features, often cruel expression; always mysterious, hypnotic eyes; hair retreats from temples.
pluto: medium stature, of rugged and sturdy build, yet with a delicate skin; soft fine hair on the scalp, little hair elsewhere on the body.
update:
i'm most like uranus, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ah ha ha ha!
Posted 11/8/2002 at 12:03 pm by rache -
fair is fair
you must love your mother very very much is all I'm going to say...
And if she's insane, you've probably got a touch of it too, eh? ... sorry, so what's the problem again? oh, yeah... she's got a few quirks-- work with her...
Sorry dude, her and I are in the same club, it's in the Momz rule book (ch 65, pg 53, sec. 14, para 6) we gotta side with each other whenever possible...
Posted 11/4/2002 at 6:05 pm by MyKidzMomZaPotHEAD
i definitely have my fair share of quirks and oddities.
- expect me to be mostly random.
- i constantly have music playing in my head. it's like i have a 6 cd changer inside my head. sometimes i 'listen' to it so intently i just start rocking out (doesn't matter where i am or what i'm doing) and i don't even realize it. last week, i caught myself rocking out in the bathroom, just out of the shower. catching yourself playing naked air guitar is somewhat shocking.
- i hear the slightest bit of music and i'm playing along to it - usually by tapping on the nearest surface available; my knees, the coffee table, the arms of the chair i'm in, the dog, my head, your head, whatever.
- when i'm in an exceptionally good mood and/or hyper, i make random noises. usually it's something along the lines of "bwoooooooo" or "bweeeeeeee" but occasionally it's a chicken squawk or a sheep blat.
- when i go to see movies, i sit at the right side of the theater. having your eyes slightly to the left helps you engage the right side of your brain which in turn helps with the whole suspension of disbelief thing.
- i can quote random movies in the middle of any conversation while remaining relevant (at least to me) to the subject matter.
- i daydream way too much. i just had to stop myself. yes, just now.
- i like to sit indian style when i'm at the computer. sometimes i pull my legs up too fast, which results in me kicking myself in the balls. an unpleasant and humiliating experience.
- lincoln is the capitol of nebraska.
- i'm convinced that anything can be art, if you only look at it in the right way.
- i try to stick my fingers in my girlfriends nose. i have yet to find someone that will actually let me do it without having to pin them down first.
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don't get me wrong, i love my mom. it doesn't mean she's not insane.
- there are 2 fake dogs in the house. a doberman in the guestroom (looking out the window) and a german shepard on the front porch.
- our most recent argument was over the new 40 gallon trash cans the county has handed out to residents.
me: put the old can, which we want to throw out, inside the new can and fill with garbage. the trash truck comes, the machine lifts the new can, throws out everything inside it.
her: no, put the old can, with garbage in it, out on the street with a note to take it (the trash guys would have to lift it.)
me: it would be easier for them if the machine could pick it up.
her: why can't you just do what i say?
me: because it doesn't make sense.
her: it doesn't have to.
me: you're making their job harder.
her: ok fine! we're not throwing them out!
- we have 2 cat doors. inside the house.
- we have a screen door. also inside the house.
- the dog has 2 water bowls, about 4 feet apart. both are kept full at all times and both are in the living room.
- she leaves newspapers, cardboard etc by the front door. the recycling bin is right outside the door.
- she has at least 2 garbage cans in every room.
- there's a tv in the kitchen
- she will tip a can of soda, beer etc upside down in the sink and let the last swallow or two drain out and leave the can there. it should be noted that one of her numerous trash cans is within 5 feet of the sink. hell, everything in the house is within 5 feet of a trash can.
- she leaves the lids of the washing machine and the dryer open all the time, "so they don't moldy."
- anything left outside for more than 30 seconds becomes "all buggy" and has to be rinsed/cleaned before brought into the house.
- she will wash her hair in the sink, but not in the shower for reasons utterly inexplicable.
update on the dog bowl thing:
this thing came in the mail today. so now there are 3 water bowls for the dog. in the living room. i truly do not know what to say.
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