August 22, 2002
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femmedelacreme has some really good tips on her site about writing. taking cue from her, i'm going to try my hand at some serious writing, using her tips as a guideline. running commentary is in italics.
ok here i go, tip #1 title your entries
MY XANGA ENTRY BY SATURNALIA.
or at least provide a kick ass opening line.
My penis is erotic.
nope that won't work. it's more crude than kick ass...hmm...how about this...
So 3 of my friends and i rented costumes (i was the bumble bee guy from the spanish channel) and we went BASE jumping off of the...er...the... dammit, there's nothing high enough here to BASE jump off of. we went hang gliding er, no...skeet shooting?
ok, i'll come back to that one.
tip #2, use paragraphs...i have been using paragraphs. good, good. i think i have this one down. what was the next one? oh yeah, #3, care about your readers. care about them? what makes them think i give a crap about...oh hey! hi! how are you? i didn't see you there...what? no, i didn't say anything. no i didn't. what?? i would never say that!
that seems to have gone over pretty well. #4 is try on different styles. ok, let me experiment with the first paragraph here, see what i can come up with.
style #1.
So 3 of my fRnds & i rented costumes (i wz d bumble bee guy frm d spanish channel) & we went BASE jumping off of d... dammit, ther's Nuttin high Enuf hEr 2 BASE jump off of. we went hng gliding er, n...skEt shooting?
style #2
This dreary day held promise. Promise of adventures under the bruise colored skies of the rainy season. After securing our hand tailored costumes ( I had rented a wonderfully avant garde bumble bee costume), we set out to locate somewhere that was high enough, tall enough, to match our aspirations. Alas, the rain pummeled land was broad and flat. It left us listless and longing for excitement. Perhaps we could bring a zepplin under our command...
style #3
"how much can you know yourself if you've never been in a bumble bee suit?"
so, with that....was it as good for you as it was for me? (tip #5 and #8...i enjoyed it immensely
). i'm off to have a smoke and take a nap (tip #7) one thousand gratitudes for reading my blog. (tip#6)
i suppose it's too late for me to apologize for being an idiot?
Comments (35)
Style 1 makes me go CRAZY! Have you ever seen the sites that are written like that? Man oh man, it's like, "OK, you ghetto-fab 13 year old wannabe, give it a rest!"
--L
foot fetish? nah, try to do that with ur toes in the second picture. the last one is more about the hanger.
oh and ur entry is entertaining. but then again i am easily amused.
lol, an erotic penis, Im wondering what makes it special,... lol okay I wont wonder
hey!
No hugs or eprops for me?
nice writing
okay thank you for the hugs and eprops, now I forgive you
hmmm..."tip" #1 had my attention for a bit there *grin* thanks for subbing - i always welcome new verbal beatings
One cannot give enough eProps for the bumblebee suit.
Style 1 vetoed, here. I hate that garbage. Great entry!
Pee in the pants funny (no, not cuz of bladder control problems, turn off the smartass mind for a minute!). I mean it, Truly, Madly, Deeply (never rented that one either). Muy, so much Muy! You've made a new fan, dude!
i like your posts! the bookworm test was fun
not only is style 1 annoying, i think ppl that write "LiKe tHiS" ought to be locked away until they stop writing like that. it's so terribly annoying.
well, g'day to you and yours.
lookin' forward to the next post!
-albert
Your bookworm rating scares me. I have a guy dissing astrology on Salon. I am going to come get you if I need back up.
Christ, thats hilarious! Maybe i'll take those tips into consideration. Humph....
update - now engaged in polite intercourse via email with astrology hater. Holding my own.
hooray for random stories...they're the best
Actually, Mr. Saturn-the-Kid, it's funny you asked about him. I certainly have read his work, and he's sort of a friend of mine. He's said that Mike's The Dragon Waiting is his favorite book, so if you like Neil, yes, do read Mr. Ford!
bumblebee suit?
Smartass.
But its entertaining, so you're forgiven.
I MISS HAVING A COMPUTER.
*Sobs*
no need to apologize! you made me giggle! can i hug you? haha
LMAO...
well i can certainly take your blogs more seriously after reading this one
we hve the same bookworm rating, Did you copy me?
(I think you did, (even though I took the test after you, there had to have been a way )
I wish I could switch styles so easily
you goty my attention with erotic penis but i giggled silly with the three different styles. any pics of you in the bumble bee costume?
I've read Koja's short fiction, and liked it very much. I've never actually read Clive Barker's books, much to my shame. I like horror in short story form best, though.
And you're very obviously not an idiot.
When I was missing my friends from home freshman year, they showed up at my college. Ben, the piano aficiando, Tim the psychic, and Ryan. Ben played this extravagant amazing piece on the piano in the lounge, only he did it in a gorilla suit, completely covered in sexy ape hair. The girls were drooling. (:
*sigh* i'm somewhere around 93% bookworm.
a bearded lady in a bumble bee suit, that can spark new heights in fashion journalism!
OMG! This is bust-a-gut funny. I *must* link you tomorrow.
It's never too late to apologize.
Funny stuff.
hahaha..that's cute
LMAO
Femme always has good advice
I couldn't get through style 1 very well but the other two were good.
Paragraphs are also very good and helpful! heh that was an amusing blog
Femme is really good but YOU hardly need writing tips my dear.
Bumble Bee guy is awesome! Good choice. Cerveza's sister was the Bumblebee girl from the Blind Melon video for one Halloween.
you crazy you made me laugh so much
OMG this is hilarious. Lovin' the bumble bee suit.
I'm sure glad Jackie posted the link.
Comments are closed.